Sunday, 29 August, 2010

Relationship tips- does an dont's during fights and quarrels

Never:
* Use bad language while fighting.
* Threaten to terminate your relationship, just for the sake of gaining an upper hand.
* Become judgmental about his character if it has nothing to do with the fight.
* Use force (hands, feet, vessels, mobile phones) to show power.
* Quote past experiences. Let bygones be bygones.
* React! Yes, reaction is an emotional process that could make the situation worse.
Always:
* Respond! A response is to find a solution to the problem. This can lead to creative handling of future problems.
* Fight when both of you are calm and composed.
* Fight in a place where you will not be disturbed. Make sure the kids or a third-party are not around.
* Make sure that if he begins what he has to say, you allow him to end it. DO NOT interrupt him.
* Remember to express what you are feeling at that exact same moment. Don’t hesitate to say it if you are feeling “sad”, rather than “angry” at that point of time.
Making up tips…
Post fighting, both of you need your space to settle your emotions and get back together. Here’s what you do:
* Doing something that is ‘not you’ can be bring relief to the tension in your fights. Surprise him, do something that you would usually never do. Get him flowers, candy, or say things to him that you would normally never say. (Nice things, of course!)
* Say sorry. If it was your fault and you know it, say sorry.
* Celebrate! Once a resolution has been reached, celebrate the occasion. A candle light dinner, good sex. In other words, be close to each other.
* Last but not the least, FORGET about the issues that caused hurt. Rather, concentrate on the solutions that you have come up with.

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